THIS IS THE WORLD OF D42

> Esto es un texto que me han mandado, pero como se poco ingles no puedo
> reirme mucho, asi que lo disfrutareis aquellos que sepais ingles.

FROM: Group Offices London
TO: All Spanish Staff
DATE: Dec. 8, 1997
SUBJECT: Improper Language Usage

It's been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
headquarters that the Spanish staff commonly uses offensive language.
Such behaviour, in addition to violating our group's policy, is highly
unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and the staff itself.
Therefore it is requested to our Spanish staff to adhere immediately to
the following rules:

1) Foreign colleagues or visitors should not be referred to as "mira
ese guiri de mierda" or "passa de ese polaco".

2) Words like "conio", "hostia" and other such expressions will not be
used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion is.

3) You will not say "la ha cagao" when someone makes a mistake, or "la
esta cagando" if you see somebody being reprimanded or "!que cagada!"
when a major mistake has been made. All direct or derived forms of the
verb "cagar" are inappropriate in our environment.

4) No Project Manager, Section Supervisor or Head of Administration
Chief, will be referred to, under any circumstances, as "el hijo de la
gran puta", or "el muy cabron" or even "el comemierda".

5) Lack of determination will not be referred as to "falta de huevos" or
"de maricona" nor will persons with a lack of initiative be ever
referred to as "capullo" or "acojonado".

6) Unusual and/or creative ideas shall not be referred to as "pajas
mentales"
in particular when they come from your manager.

7) You will not say "como me jode" if a person is persistent, or "esta
jodido" or "se lo van a follar" if a colleague is going through a
difficult situation. Furthermore, when matters become complicated the
words "que jodienda" should not be used.

8) When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "vete a
tomar por culo", nor should you ever substitute the most educated "may
I help you?" with "?que conio quieres ahora?".

9) If things get tough, an acceptable expression such as "we are going
through a difficult time" should be used rather than "esto esta jodido"
or "nos van a follar a todos". Additionally, if you make a mistake, just
say so and do not say "que putada" or any expressions composed with the
root "puta"

10) No salary increase shall ever be referred to as "subida de mierda".

11) Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not say "me
voy a limpiar el culo con ella" or "me la paso por el forro de los
cojones". Just keep it clean and odorless and dispose of it properly.

>


P.D. If this note does not achieve its goal to improve the Spanish
staff's language, it can always be used as a Spanish language course
for foreigners.